There are just some things that you end up doing that you never thought you were capable of. That’s what I found out through my experiences in life. I just don’t care where you are from or where you’ve been, there’s always someone who has been there before. They might not have left anything permanent behind, but you can be sure that they were there and by being there changed those theycame in contact with in some manner.
That’s what I have to continue to believe as otherwise I (we) have no reason for being here and I know my mother would never have allowed me to think so, so it’s true.
Why did it all happen I really don’t have an answer for. I only know that I was changed and I hope, to a certain extent, that those I met were also in a small way changed. Naturally we all hope that the change was for the better but you never know, do you? If it’s true that I changed a few then have I fulfilled my destiny? If I am still here then I don’t think so and therefore I hope to influence a number of others through my contact with them in some way or other.
How did this all come about? It wasn’t easy for me or for a number of others. Simply being in the wrong place changed us all. Was it at the right time, or was it at the wrong time, only future history will be able to say. We just have to accept it and hope that we were doing the right thing at the right time. You will have to be the judge of me as others will be the judges of your actions.
Why do we look to others to judge us when we end up doing what we want to do anyway? Now that I look back I cannot find any one thing that was really the wrong thing to do. They were just incidents that ended up not being the best possible choice. Does that mean that we were meant to live in a gray area of have we caused those questionable times to become those shades of gray? I think the latter as we all make our decisions based upon the information we are in possession of, at that particular moment. Based upon this (narrow?) viewpoint we perform our duties to the best of our abilities.
Right or wrong we continue with our State of Existence.
There are so many things that I wanted to do that I haven’t accomplished yet and so many things that I wish I could have changed. Haven’t you heard that so many times before? And wasn’t that person right? I think that each of us has said that in one manner or other. But, if each of us thinks back and start to tell others what we have done, they say “Why don’t you write about your life?”
There are so many reasons for not doing it but the largest one is, procrastination! It really doesn’t matter that you think that other people wouldn’t like to hear about our dull existence when just the opposite is true.
Each one of us has contributed our lives to that great panorama that we know as history. True, we haven’t been chosen as the President or General or Prime Minister or what ever, but we have in our own small way contributed to the changes in the History of Man. How many times have we read or heard how a person, or a group of people together, set out from where they have always lived to seek out new areas, just to see what was there. Aren’t we all a little like that if we only move to the next country, area, or town? Some of us took a small step that ended up being the first of many thousands that took us around the world and to areas that we now seem to regard as being completely stupid to do such.
Lucky for me I one of those who survived those idiotic steps, but am now paying the price for that folly in my own manner. There are a number of ways to describe the illness (‘s) that we have. I say we, as I now know that there are people all over the world who are now paying, mentally and/or physically) for those stupid steps we have completed. We are described as having a nervous breakdown, or Combat Fatigue or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or what you will. I have just described what others have described about my fellow victims.
My problem (in part) was Viet Nam. For others it was The Gulf War, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, South Africa, Cambodia, Yugoslavia, Ethiopia, Ghana, Tibet, etc. I think you get the idea. Aren’t we all suffering from those small stupid steps that we took when we thought we were being so smart and brave?
Where did we go wrong? Did we go wrong? I don’t know, all I am able to do is tell you about the steps I have made and you can make up your own mind as to which was/were the wrong one(s).